'Gee', they said. 'What you fussing about? This T-gurl thing is easy'.

'Oh. really', said I. 'Easy, is it!'

'Yeah', said they. 'Just go to a lingerie shop and buy some stuff. If anyone asks say it's for your girlfriend but they won't. Ask'.

'Ok, if you really insist. But what about the make up thing and the outfit, voice and the walk?'

'Don't worry about it. Nobody notices any more'.

So I tootled along to the nearest lingerie shop. Agent Provocateur was round the corner from where I worked. The shop girls giggled at me mercilessly and sold me panties three sizes too big and a bra that wouldn't fit round a telegraph pole. Still, I struggled into the stuff and decided to go for a walk. It was raining hard and it was then I realised that I didn't have any shoes. Let me correct that. I had shoes.. but they were all men's shoes.

I went back the next day to complain.

'Gee', they said. 'No wonder you're complaining. No-one ever said this T-girl thing is easy.