bullies & brutes part one

When I wuz a kid I always used to wonder at the strange chatter that would take place amongst my mum and her friends whenever one of the women showed up with a black eye or other injuries. I'd get insatiably curious in that childhood way and ask: 'What happened to Sheila/Elizabeth/Jenny?'

Invariably, I'd be given an unsatisfactory explanation such as - 'Oh, she walked into a door' - and quickly shooed away so that the mums could continue their conspiratorial natter in peace. Looking back, I realise that I more or less believed the explanations I was given despite the undercurrent of unease that ran beneath. But I still marvelled at how those marvellous creatures (women of course - eeeek!) that I so admired and me so wanting to 'join their club', I wondered how they could be so clumsy.And with such regularity... ok.. I 'fess up now. I was an extremely dumb and gullible kid!

It wasn't until some years later, during my very first attempt at living full time, that I came to understand the true subtext to -'Oh, she walked into a door!'

By my mid-twenties, I'd just about overcome any lingering inhibitions and self-imposed proscriptions to my sexuality. My last real girlfriend had long since fled with the parthian shot, 'Going to bed with you is like going to bed with a woman!' (Grrrrr, babes. Was that supposed to be an insult???!!) As any Tgirl who bursts forth from the confines of her closet will happily explain to you, I didn't emerge quietly from my cocoon. I exploded into an orgy of totally femme misbehaving, partying all night at all sorts of clubs, being full on outrageous as I discovered how liberating it was to be...ME!

This was the 'end of acid/start of raving era' (shows you what an old bird I am!!!) and I dunno if it was all the drugs they were taking but everyone (with the exception of that usual heinous minority of Tphobic idiots) was agreeably tolerant. Although I lost most of my friends around this time (good riddance), those that remained became closer than ever. I was in with a lovely bunch of GGs and their BFs who used to look out for me. And Big D - not that you'll ever read this - but I love you for that night you saved me from the nutter by coming and putting your arm round me and saying, 'Come on, babe.. it's time to go home'. BIG BIG LUCIA SIGH!

Gosh.. my fingeries ache from all this typing... I'll continue this self indulgent ramble another time..

byes-ee fer now, sweetniks... x