instrument of torture

Just got off the phone chatting with my new guy. The phone - it's the contemporary instrument of torture, isn't it.I could barely manage to force myself to stop yapping and hang up.

All too often, it's as though I'm listening to myself talk and thinking, 'What the hell is she going on about?' And I've really no idea what I'm talking about. Does he suspect what an air head I can be? Does he mind? Some guys like that in a gurl, don't they.

Agggh.. must stop second guessing myself.

New guy phoned to say last night together was a buzz. You're telling me!!!!

So, Lucia is charged with a top secret urgent mission. I'm gonna race off to the shops and see if I can find a brand new outfit for tonight. Dare I be so bold, I'm usually a bit of a whiz at choosing clothes for myself. But buying outfits with a man-thing in mind destroys my equillibrium. Will he like it, is it too dowdy, is it wayyyyyyyy too young for me? I can assure you.. it's a very long list.

Guess I'll have to 'impulse buy' - always a danger for a Tgirl sliding into the crazy zone of love... eeeeeeeeeek!

new directions

Gosh! Wow!
haven't written an entry recently.
Guess why?
Guess what?
I've just had the most amazing week. Completely out of the blue, really really when I least expected it, a fantabulous guy has appeared in my life. It's early days - and, you don't have to tell me!, I know these things always start with a zillion rockets firing, crazy electricity zinging through every nerve and heads spinning wildly... before everything falls back to earth with a resounding bang. But - sod worrying - just live for the moment, eh girls!!!

I can't believe my luck. There's sooooooooooooo many horrible creepy guys out there, they're like an insidious predatory static that serves to keep us man-luvvin' gurls pinned up and chained down. Finding a nice, honest, sexy man-thing who hasn't been snapped up and shotgunned into marriage by a GG is almost impossible.

(Watch out - Lucia's about to start moaning again). Gawd, if the world at large had any idea of the number of ridiculous compromises we Tgirls have to make just to spend a few hours in the arms of a guy, they'd weep and gnash teeth!

I'm not gonna say much about my new fella but a few insignificant little snippets should tell you how utterly excited and thrilled I am by him. Ooooh, he's delicious delicious! On my lonesome, he's all I think about, every single moment. He's like a continuous film playing in my mind. I just love it. I've been wandering round my flat letting out involuntary gasps, shrieks and crazy screams. Got home this morning around ten and burst into tears,,, eeeek!

Spent our fourth night together last nite (yes, I'm making a notch in my little pink love book for each time we make love). Oh my, first thing he did when I got to his place was help me off with coat and shoes, lay me on his sofa and kiss each of my stockinged toes and then slowly kissed all the way up the inside of one leg and down the other. With absolute passion. I thought I'd explode or go insane, it was sooooooooooo intense.

Oh, I so so so don't deserve him... but I'm never never never gonna tell him that. Gosh, what a week!