happiness two

Happiness is an odd thing. You may be blundering along through life feeling quite happy when something appears on the horizon to make you a million times MORE happy. Happiness is so akin to sorrow... even when it fills you to bursting there's always room for more.

I've just had one of those evenings that's left me full of contentment and joy. What happened that could do this to Lucia?

Ho humm.. tough day at the office, dear. Crawled back from work in my man drag feeling fairly exhausted and it's only Tuesday. Couldn't be bothered to throw on a face or wig so I just scrunched down on the sofa in my nikks and bra. I wrapped a blanket round, set half a glass of Pouilly by my toes, and started to watch something brainless on the tv.

Brrrring brrring!!.. Wow, who else but the BF. Wasn't expecting a call 'cos he's so overloaded with work currently. After some cooing and purring at each other, I asked how his work was progressing and he groaned about a big pile of typing he had to get out of the way. Before I could stop myself, I volunteered to help out for the evening. He's soooo sweet and said something like, 'No way - enough workfor one day. chill out and enjoy yourself'.

But I can be a stubborn cow and, next thing he was zooming across London to pick me up. Gosh, I had to race like a lady ferret to get my face on and dressed and ready. Made a bodge of my bloody eyeliner like you do in a rush so I spooned on the Clinique foundation and effected a brill repair job.

Kept the BF waiting for ten mins, me still in bra and nikks when he arrived. When I reappeared he said he loved my outfit. Instead of casual jeans and sexi little blouse I wiggled into one of my black work suits and popped on a tight dark top to match the jacket and skirt. BF loved the outfit and joked, 'How he was supposed to do any work with me wearing THAT'???

Even though I was squealing inside for him to throw me on the bed, kiss and love me up all over, I fought back every one of my urges and insisted we get going. Back at his, I got down immediately to sorting out his typing. I'm not really quick but at least I can tap correctly with fingers and thumbs.. while poor BF is a neanderthal two finger typist heehee!

Awwwwww.. it was just lovely sitting in his flat helping him out, every so often sneaking a long glance so I could watch him at work. Girls, you must know that a man never looks more delicious and commanding than when he's hard at it, concentrating and solving problems. And me all dressed up like a company sec - kinky cow that I am! Wow, it was almost like one of my oldest Tgirl fantasies coming true. Don't tell the BF, but I'd happily sit there typing out pages and pages till kingdom come if I could just be that close to him.. yum yummy yums!!!

So, I did over four hours straight minus tiny break to fix him a cuppa and a little snack. He was so delighted with me, I could tell.. which made me feel like a princess!! Before he drove me back, there was barely time for a quick kiss and cuddle. I so so so wanted to stay but no way am I going to compromise his work, job and everything. As we pressed close together to kiss I could feel that pipe of steel in his pants.. eeek! It told me everything I needed to know...

and yes.. it was the happiest evening I've had since,, since... gosh.. I can't remember at all...

happiness one

Oh.. yeah. the whole miss world air head thing yeah. Before I can talk about happiness I gotta say my little piece.

Happiness, it's something I can fall so easily into like a man's arms or a feathery warm bed. But when I'm happy, I can never quite shift an underlying melancholia. It's to do with the state of our world.

Yeah, I know I'm gonna sound false as an acrylic nail - a regular 'I'm so morally perfect' stuck up uber bitch. But if you'll excuse the clichéd miss world myth at play here I can say - with hand on heart honesty - no sooner do I feel happy then I start to think about all the nasty thing happening across the globe. Iraq, arms dealing and cycles of starvation in Africa, cruelties to women in Saudi, the mindless greedy demented destruction of the fragile environment of our only planet.. our beautiful beautiful wounded earth.

C'mon somebody.. give Lucia a magic wand she can wave in the air and fix some of this bad stuff up once n for all!

brains in jars, hearts on fire

Biologically, I suppose that it's very unlikely that there's a planet orbiting a star somewhere in our limitless universe where Tgirls are the species in the majority. But there are times when I look online, and see the massed ranks of Tgirls out there, that I think I must be living on it.

It strikes me as odd that I can walk through central London everyday and barely see a Tgirl and yet, the moment I take a stroll through cyberspace, they appear in their zillions. It can only be that we all want to live in a cosy fantasy land, with our brains in jars and our hearts on ice.

I still think that us Tgirls, once we've abandoned bitching and hissing at one another and embraced our common core of lovliness, can add wonder and warmth to this cold world. We should stand proud with our cami knickers pulled tight over our sexy tight little bums, raise up our burning hearts and light the world.

knock me down with a big feather

So, just had a nice long phone chat with my lovely new fella. I'm a simple creature really.. I don't ask too much from a guy. Simply that you make me laugh lots on the phone and that you make me feel all woman in bed. Gosh.. not such a lot to ask, is it??!!

I've realised, however, that I'm becoming a super Blogga bore, and that it's rude of me to only talk about my new man and the incredible way he makes me feel.

No, no ,no, Lucia Ferri. Your blog should be much more than a diary. You should relate all the great stories of art, panties and politics. From Winston's celebrated cigar to the Corinthian Order, from chilled glasses of Chablis to the poems of Cavafy.

Wonderful scheme though this is in theory, the plain fact is that I've got a one track mind at this point in time. You could so easily knock me down with a big fat feather!

yearnings

Missing my new fella and simultaneously staring at the gawd-damned phone and resisting the urge to call him up right now. How is it that someone can so implant themselves so deeply, so profoundly in one's head where, a couple of weeks before, there was only a vacant space?

Probably the only temporary cure would be to take myself off shopping but I'm seriously in debt. An early autumn spree has left me scratching around to ward off the grim jaws of le credit card.. and yesterday's impulse buys haven't helped... ye big ouch!!!

I reckon if I drink only rain water and eat the daffodil bulbs I was saving for next spring I'll be able to get through xmas and the new year. Gosh, I wonder if it's true that you sprout green leaves from the top of your head if you eat too many daffodil bulbs? Now there's a query worthy of Gardener's Question Time... eeeek!

typically me!

Typically me! I had an ocean of work to catch up on yesterday and instead I spent the whole day shopping and preening and getting set for my date last night. I must have gone through more costume changes in the afternoon than MADonna has managed in a lifetime. Naturally, I spent much too much money on a new outfit. Almost opted for gorgeous knitted dress from Jane Norman but decided I'd need some serious cleavage to make the best of it. Instead I picked out a few things from Warehouse including a silk twil cami to wear to bed.. eeeeeek!

After fretting (for no reason at all) that I'd never see him again, my new man-thing picked me up on time and off we went for a quiet night out - cinema and a very light dindins after. I'm right off food at the mo.. wonder why.. ho hummmm..

Well the man-thing had to run off early this morning but not before I'd cooked him a royal King's breakfast. And before that he made love to me in the dim early light as lightning flashed, thunder crashed and rain fell in relentless fury. It was utterly ridiculous! felt like a woman out of one of those soppy ancient romantic Mills & Boon paperbacks but at least my orgasm was up to date and totally liberating.

As I sit tapping this out, I'm still barely breathing with tummy trembling and fingers a bit shaky. Ooooh, it's the power of luv for ya!